Fear or Faith

At this point am wondering which of the two I have at the moment. If its faith, then why am I so scared that am not scared. If its fear, then why am I telling myself am believing for something better. So am caught in between, fearing but not allowing myslef to fear. Having faith even though am really scared.

My S.6 Vac Blogs...gosh that feels like a million years ago

 May 03, 2007 - Current Mood - Blank
Another day and am here to blog once again.What should I write about?well, yesterday was real weird...i kept falling in and out of trouble.Gave someone money and later my boss says I shouldn't have.( It was my boss's money by the way!)He says its me 2 think up what to do to get it back.And am definately not using my own money to pay back!Then i destroyed some supposedly important documents...still don't know the outcome of that.Am going through a stage..think Ill call it blogphoria..am so excited to be blogging..its amazing!!By the way I started watching this show..Kyle xy,its the best, better than the best. Can't wait to finish season 1.its sooo cool.thats all to talk about for now..let me find out what today holds for me,mbasibudde(thats in my language!)

May 02, 2007 - current mood: Cheerful
So am real new to bloging but been dying to try it out for a while! Am in an extremely nice mood and i had to write something down.Yesterday was teriffic, actually that might be an understatement. For the last week ive been real angry. For one theres someone real bitchy around me, but I showed her my stuff 2,he he.i don't even use the word(bitch) but she forces me too. I really needed a break and i got it. LABOUR DAY!kudos 4 every1 that led to a public holiday coming up! So back to yesterday (labour day), I was dying for the rest. I slept till late and woke up to go to town. Spent the dyms i made on Monday. First I already had shopped my heart out on Monday evening,just added to it on Tuesday. The stuffs great, fits well...though needless to say, I'm already broke now...very broke.Then i went to church..theirs this teens fellowship we have there..and honestly it's the best. Then it was a very late lunch with my galfreinds at Cow Boyz.Iven't laughed so much in a while,think they almost sent us out!We caught up on loadsa stuff,boys, school, what we are going to do for Uni and it was FUN. Hadn't been with these girls in a while!! The fun made me get home late but God answered my prayers and my parents weren't mad. So am now here at work, still filled with yesterdays memories...Martha and Mad, love u guys to bits!And some of the stuff that went on yesterday are still in my mind,the way we failed to pronounce 'the boo's' other name...and how Mad couldn't stop using the word stale...i mean how STALE is that?That's all i have for now!ciao

I Will Write

Ever since time immemorial, I have wanted to be a writer. To be able to move people with words, the same way I have been moved, to touch hurts and tag at hidden emotions.  It’s funny though how with age, our dreams die, our faith in ourselves withers and we let go of what we always believed we could do. We let go of our dreams and let people define us.

In the past two months I have had one of the most difficult times of my life. I dealt with broken relationships and constant disappointment. Feeling alone and as if no one understood. At such a time I could have used with the healing power of writing. But instead I wallowed in self-pity, all on my own and helpless.

So now am making a decision, to hold onto my dream and not let it go. I will be a writer, and with my words I will heal, touch, bless, influence, annoy and maybe even anger someone. The main point is that I will bring out an emotion in someone else that would have otherwise stayed untouched. I know I can do this, Lord help me!